Child Rearing - The Golden Rules

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.



1. Do not ever scare the child with jinns, ghosts etc.
This is a very appalling habit as it develops anxiety 
and fear in their hearts. Fear is the root of other
calamitous problems. Always inculcate fearlessness
and bravery within them.


2. Allocate a fixed time for the children's meals. 
This would contribute to their good health and it
also teaches them the importance of punctuality.


3. Keep them clean and tidy at all times. Bath them
daily in summer. In winter, always bath them with hot
(warm) water. This would ensure good health. Always
encourage them to adopt good personal hygiene as good
health depends upon personal hygiene.


4. Avoid excessive adornment. In the case of a boy, do
not allow his hair to grow very long. Apply Surmah
( kohl) to their eyes every night.

5. Foster within them the habit of giving food, clothing,
money etc. to the poor with their own hands, as this
would promote generosity.

6. Restrain them from bellowing or talking loudly. 
Explain to them kindly that screaming and talking
is disrespectful and a person who does that is
dubbed an ''ox''.

7. Restrain your children from joining other children
who have repulsive habits, children who are indifferent
to their studies and children who are spendthrifts. Do 
not allow them to play or linger about with them.


8. Develop an aversion in the children for lies, anger,
malice, greed, verbal abuse, backbiting, deception and 
other such vices. If you detect any such vices in them,
caution them and if they fail to take heed, mete out some
appropriate form of punishment. If you rigidly stick to
love and affection, you will surely regret it later on.

9. Once the child becomes a bit perceptive, develop the
habit in him of eating with his own hands. Teach him how
to wash his hands after meals. Develop the habit of eating
with the hands (instead of eating with a spoon etc.). 
Inculcate the habit of eating less as this would prevent
greed and illness.

10. Be extremely fastidious about keeping their hands,
feet and faces clean at all times. Wash them the moment
they are soiled.

11. Do not allow the child to go to the market place all
alone. Somebody should accompany him. Whilst playing,
do not allow the child to jump and leap excessively. Do 
not allow him to play on high places. Allow him to play
with children of decent families. Prevent them from evil
company. When he accompanies you to the market place,
do not linger around longer than necessary. Provide an
appropriate answer to each one of his questions and teach
him the various etiquette. Continue preventing him from 
useless and futile speech.

Ideal Mother by

Maulana Muhammad Hanif 'Abdul Majid
       

 
  
 

Connecting Children to Allah

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.



Connecting a child to Allah is an important and continuous process
that begins at the time of birth (or even before). When a baby enters
the world, the first words that she/he should hear are ''Allahu Akbar''
with the enunciation of the call to prayer in the right ear. As the child
grows, she/he should continue to hear the name of Allah through the
recitation of the Qur'an, prayer, supplication, and remembrance of
Allah. The child should be taught to love Allah and to fear His anger
and punishment. The element of love should be stronger than that of
fear. There should be a desire to be obedient to Him.

In connecting children to Allah, especially small children, it is pertinent
to teach them about Allah's miracles in nature, the beauty and grace
given to us by Allah, and the marvelous signs of His perfection and
wisdom. He has created all things on the earth and in the heavens:
people, animals, rivers, trees, flowers, and so forth. Children naturally
bond with nature and will curiously attempt to explore it, thus providing
prime opportunities to discuss Allah and His attributes. Nature walks
or trips should be regular events for the family. During these times,
children may be asked, '' Who made the rivers and the lakes and the
flowers and all that you see around you?'' in order to bring their attention
to the greatness of the Creator. From this, children will understand that
Allah is the Giver of Life, the Sustainer, the Most Bounteous, and so forth.
As an expected corollary, they should be reminded to thank Allah for His
blessings in their many forms. 

Children may also be asked about the other bounties that Allah has given
to His servants. They may not initially realize that parents, siblings, food on
the table, clothes, the physical body and five senses, for example, are all
bounties only available through the grace and mercy of Allah. Good health
itself is a blessing that we often take for granted and easily forget. Children
may be asked,''Who gave you your hearing, sight, and mind? Who gave you
the ability and strength to move and to act?'' All of this would be impossible
without Allah's generosity.

The ability to learn and gain knowledge and to question, the knowledge itself,
the books that are read and the schools that are entered each day, all come
from Allah. Friendships, relationships, sharing, and caring are part of human
existence due to the grace of Allah. These elements enrich our lives and allow
us to grow and develop spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. Again, children
should be encouraged to love and thank Allah for the remarkable and diverse
blessings that He has bestowed upon His creation. When something particularly
special happens to them or they receive joyful news, they should follow the
practice of the Prophetصلى الله عليه وسلم and prostrate in thanks.

These initial building blocks results in the cultivation of love of Allah, for it is
natural to love the One who has given so generously. Children may simply be
requested to imagine what life would be like without all of these in order to
appreciate what they have. It may be advantageous to have them spend a few
hours of a day pretending to be a blind or deaf person, or without books or
computers, or without communication with siblings. Exposure to persons with
handicaps or poor economic conditions may serve a similar purpose, as well
as visiting the sick and elderly in hospitals or nursing homes. The gratefulness
of the human should expand tenfold with these types of experiences.

As children grow older, integration of various verses of the Qur'an can provide
further reminders. The following are some examples :

اللهُ الَّذِى خَلَقَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرضَ وَأَنزَلَ مِنَ السَّمَآءِ مَآءً فَأَخرَجَ بِهِ مِنَ الثَّمَرَاتِ رِزقًا

 لَّكُم وَسَخَّرَ لَكُمُ الفُلكَ لِتَجرِىَ فىِ البَحرِ بِأَمرِهِ وَسَخَّرَ لَكُمُ الأَنهَارَ وَسَخَّرَ لَكُمُ الشَّمسَ

وَالقَمَرَ دَآءِبَينِ وَسَخَّرَ لَكُمُ الَّيلَ وَالنَّهَارَ وَءَاتَاكُم مِّن كُلِّ مَا سَأَلتُمُوهُ  وَإِن تَعُدُّوا

 نِعمَتَ اللهِ لآ تُحصُوهَا إِنَّ الإنَسانَ لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارٌ

It is Allah who created the heavens and earth and sent down rain from

the sky and produced thereby some fruits as provision for you and

subjected for you the ships to sail through the sea by His command and

subjected for you the rivers. And He subjected for you the sun and the

moon, continuous (in orbit), and subjected for you the night and the day.

And He gave you from all you asked of Him. And if you should count the

favour (blessings) of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed,

humankind is (generally) most unjust and ungrateful.

                                                (Qur'an 14 : 32-34 )

It is Allah who made for you the earth a place of settlement and the sky a

structure (ceiling) and formed you and perfected your forms and provided

you with good things. That is Allah, your Lord; then blessed is Allah, Lord

of the worlds.                                       (Qur'an 40: 64)

Say : It is He who has produced you and made for you hearing and vision

and hearts (intellect); little are you grateful.

                                                (Qur'an 67: 23)

Older children can be taught that all that is on the earth was created for humans
and for their benefit. Allah Ta'ala says,

It is He who created for you all that which is on earth....

                                                                        (Qur'an 2: 29)

Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the

heavens and whatever is in the earth...

                                                           ( Qur'an 31: 20)

And He has subjected to you  whatever is in the heavens and whatever

is on the earth - all from Him. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who

give thought.                                        (Qur'an 45: 13)

Specific examples may be provided or integrated  into discussions of science,
such as the function of the sun and moon, the resources of the earth (for
example, oil, metals, and coal), the water cycle, and so forth.

Memorization and understanding the names and attributes of Allah will further
enhance the process.

Allah - there is no deity except Him. To Him belong the best names.    

                                                                 (Qur'an 20: 8)

And to Allah belong the best names, so invoke Him by them....

                                                                 (Qur'an 7: 180)

Allah's names and attributes reflect His mercy and love for His creation and
provide the human with a method through which to comprehend Allah and
His greatness. This is something that children find pleasure in doing and it can
be started from a young age. Relating the attributes to concrete examples,
stories and verse of the Qur'an can be effective.

Love of Allah and respect and gratefulness for His favours, and knowing that
Allah loves His servants, will intensify the child's desire to obey Allah and follow
His commandments. They will realize that Allah Ta'ala orders only that which
is good and beneficial, as that would only correspond with the goodness in the
whole of His creation. It will strengthen their eeman and fear of Allah immensely.
This leads to the concept of teaching the importance of obedience to Allah.

Nurturing Eeman in Children
By Dr. Aisha Hamdan