How to Have a Fun Ramadan with Kids and Be Productive Too

Ramadan is the most wonderful time of the year. Too often, we, adults, focus so much on the “work” 
associated with the month, but we forget that one of the most important things about this amazing
month is to inculcate a love for this month and its blessings in our children.

Ramadan should be a special time for your whole family, including the little ones. It should bring you closer to  each other as a family and closer to Allah .

In this article, In sha Allah, we will give 10 tips for a productive and fun Ramadan for your children.

1. Send a note to kids’ school/ your neighbors:

                                          Photo from: myhalalkitchen[dot]com


Yvonnne Maffei, popular food writer and home chef, shared the idea of giving homemade goodie bags to your neighbors with an insert explaining what Ramadan is all about. This is a great idea. You can find a suggestion for a printable letter to send to kids’ school here. Not only does this act as a form of dawah, but also it builds goodwill in the community. You can order Eid posts for your child’s public school from Project Eid Awareness.

2. Welcome Ramadan into your homes:

                                        Photo from: alif2yaa[dot]blogspot[dot]ca

Decorate your homes with “Ramadan Kareem” banners, streamers and lights. You can find DIY instructions here. You can also read the tips made by Ameera Rahim from Traditional Muslimah Homemaker and Habeebee Homeschooling, in a previous ProductiveMuslim article here.

3. Make or buy 30 days calendar (Advent-style):

       Photo from: muslimlearninggarden[dot]wordpress[dot]com

Last year in my family, we made 30 paper cones using construction paper and taped them
to a poster board. The paper cones were numbered. So on day 1, I would place a task / challenge
for my niece to complete or a treat for her.

If you are interested in the calendar idea, you may want to check out Jannah Steps as it has
compiled a list on how to buy one easily or make it yourself.

4. Read about Ramadan together:

                  Photo from: disneybaby[dot]com

Kids love stories. For parents, this is a great way to illustrate a point. Disney Baby
 recommends 10 books for your reference.

5. The best lesson is the one experienced:

   Photo from Zaki’s Ramadhan Fast (islam[dot]rosegalaxy[dot]com)

Let your child experience Ramadan in terms of the physical aspect of waking up for suhoor,
making dua with you at iftar and perhaps on weekends attending taraweeh at the masjid. Aysha Samrah Abrar, a fellow author at Productive Muslim, mentions useful tips in her Productive Parenting article.

Wake your child up to have suhoor with you, even if they might be unable to fast. Make sure your
child has had enough hours of sleep before suhoor, though, so they don’t start viewing this as a burden.

Take your children with you to the masjid and ask them to relate their experience of praying in jama’ah
after returning home. Ask them questions like: “Which surah did the imam read today? What word caught your mind while listening to the imam? Did you make any special dua during ruku’ or sujood?”

While having suhoor, have some dates along with your food. Discuss the scientific benefits of dates, along with Qur’anic references about what our Prophet advised on the benefits of dates.

6. Ramadan crafts to keep them learning and entertained:

                                                   Photo from: littlelifeofmine[dot]com

Arts and crafts are another great learning tool. Download template and activities at MyRamadanFun.com and try this activity out.

7. Make Eid special and give gifts:

Make it about them. Build your own Eid traditions. I remember as a kid, every Eid morning, my mom
would make French toast that we’d eat before going for prayers and a massive feast when we returned.
To this day, any time I eat French toast, I think of those Eid mornings.
And, of course, there is no festivity for kids without gifts. A tip from Abu Productive every year is to get
your shopping done before Ramadan. Have your children help you make shopping lists, shop and pack gifts.

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet said: “Give gifts and you will love one another” [Al Adab Al Mufrad]. So, save something they really want for Eid. Click here for our best picks.

8. Plan an Eid party for their friends:

           Photo from: myhalalkitchen[dot]com

Kids really look forward to their birthday party. Why not make your Eid party more fun than that?
My Halal Kitchen shares 5 tips for a fun and easy Eid Party and, for Ramadan decor and supplies,
order up here.

9. Avoid making food the center of your focus in Ramadan:

                                     Photo from: myhalalkitchen[dot]com

Check out easy iftar recipes that ensure that you’re not too tired from cooking and have enough energy
to do the fun things with the kids. A few suggestions could be found here. Also, check out
Ramadan Recipe App from My Halal Kitchen.

10. Agree on one bad habit to quit as a family during Ramadan:

Whether it’s watching TV or any other unhealthy habit that you would like to kick, work on it together. Make it a family thing. This teaches them the barakah of the month and also helps build good habits and growing as a family.

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three: A continuous charity, knowledge by which people derive benefit, pious son who prays for him.” [Muslim]

So, may Allah help us raise children who love His deen, who are God-fearing, who grow to be among the leaders of this ummah and who would remember their productive parents in their prayers!
In the comments section below, please share with us your best tips for making Ramadan productive for the little ones.
 

Click here for the original post

Do you worship Ramadan or Allah? [Juz 2]

Do you worship Ramadan or Allah? [Juz 2] - Nouman Ali Khan

Al-Quran: Juz' 1 (Al Fatiha 1-Al Baqarah 141)

Al-Quran: Juz' 1 (Al Fatiha 1-Al Baqarah 141) with English translation from the Noble Qur'an.

A Woman of God

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,

the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

  

In the past week or so, I have had a number of mini-revelations
about myself that has led to an ultimate one: I want to be a woman of Allah. A woman of God.
What does that mean?

For me, and at this point in my life, it means that I want to live for my Creator (and He is free of all need). Why? Because up until now, everything else that I have lived for has brought me some type of misery.

I have lived for the material world and found myself both over and underwhelmed by the facade that exists behind its attractive exterior.

I have lived for people and been betrayed, let down, hurt, taken advantage of, neglected, under-appreciated and belittled.

I have lived for attention and the sake of pleasing those around me, only to be left feeling unlovable, never good enough, and unable to be everything for everyone.

I have lived for my emotions only to become intoxicated and disillusioned by both fleeting moments of perceived happiness, and horrifying depths of despair and darkness.

I have lived for my lowly, base, and carnal desires only to feel ashamed at my lack of self-control, determination, and will-power.

I have finally come to understand that living for the sake of anything except Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He), will never fill the many voids that reside in my heart and instead, only create more. I have come to realize that I was attempting to medicate with poison; that I was stubbornly trying to fill a hole in my heart with things that would – and could – never complete me. With the temporary. The finite.

And yet, at the very realization that my heart could only be filled with the infinite love, remembrance, compassion, mercy, and blessings that come only from my Lord, my heart began to swell as the voids were steadily filled.

Reading these words may lead you to believe that I have reached some metaphorical illumination or level of enlightenment. But the truth is, I say these words knowing very well that I am a sinner. That I self-sabotage on my journey to Him by constantly disobeying His commands and neglecting my duties towards Him. I say these words as someone who has acknowledged their short comings, and who seeks to better themselves in whatever capacity they can. I say this as someone who is slowly, but surely, on a journey to self-realization, acceptance, and (insha’Allah) true love.

I say this as a young woman living in a world that she does not truly feel she belongs in. As a young woman searching for the divine while attempting to make peace with herself and her demons. As a young woman who has looked for love in the wrong corners and has now turned to the very source of it. No, not turned, but ran. Sprinted. For this transformation that she has felt herself undergoing is one of urgency, driven by the lack of satisfaction with the dunya (this life), devils, and desires.

It’s funny because when we think of a person of God, a certain caricature pops into our minds – typically someone who embodies humanity’s ideals of upright character, morals, and ethics: a monk, or ascetic. Someone who has completely given up the world and what it contains.

However, I do not fit this caricature whatsoever. In fact, none of us do. Which is why, and beautifully so, that a person of God may be recognizable only to God Himself. To the rest of the world, they may simply be “so and so”. But to Allah (swt), they may be someone who has attained His mercy, nearness, and blessings; His love and guidance and pleasure.

Becoming a woman of God, for me, ultimately means establishing a connection to my Creator so strong, that nothing – no circumstance, person, material, mood, or ideology – can come between us. It means that I seek my ultimate counsel, friendship, nearness, love, hope, trust, fear, companionship, acceptance, and reliance from Him first and foremost. Being a woman of God means that I have taken the following hadith to heart and strive to become the one about whom Allah (swt) says:

“When I love [them] I am [their] hearing with which [they] hear, [their] seeing with which [they] see, [their] hand with which [they] strike and [their] foot with which [they] walk.” (Bukhari)1

It also means that my empowerment comes from Him alone. Not society, fashion, billboards, magazines, or false, unattainable standards. But from the One who is the Most Just. From the One who will accept me regardless of my appearance or flaws. From the One who will look at my heart and judge of its soundness and sincerity.

As whimsical, far-reached, unattainable or even pretentious as it sounds, this is what I ultimately want for myself. To become a woman of God. To give my whole heart, the entire fabric of my being, the intricacies of my essence and the fibers of my soul to Him, and Him alone.

May He make it possible for me, and you as well – Ameen.

And Allah (swt) knows best.

To read the Original post click here

Aiming for an Awesome Ramadhan

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Some believe Ramadan is special simply because it contains a night that is greater than 1,000 months, but what makes that night so great? The truth is, during that night the qadar (decree) for the coming year is sent down from the preserved tablet. As Allah says what can be translated as: “On that night is made distinct every precise matter” [Qur'an: Chapter 44, Verse 4], and more famously: “The angels and the Spirit descend therein by permission of their Lord for every matter.” [Qur'an: Chapter 97, Verse 4].

Did you know that there is something you can do to change that qadar in its vulnerable state as it descends from the heavens?

Yes, it is the power of dua! As the Prophet mentioned: “Nothing could change the Qadar except dua” [Sahih al-Jami'].

And in another hadith, he said: “Dua benefits in the things that have happened as well as the things that have not happened yet. The calamity comes down, but the Dua confronts it and they may continuously wrestle until the Day of Resurrection” [Reported by Al-Hakim].

This makes the month of Ramadan and especially the last ten nights, an exceptionally powerful time to make dua [Sunan Ibn Majah].

As we aim for a remarkably productive Ramadan, In sha Allah, it makes sense for us to prepare with deliberation and careful thought the duas we will focus on throughout the month. So ask yourself: “What are the duas that will change my life in the coming year?” and be absolutely certain that Allah will answer them In sha Allah! In the rest of this article, I will share my best tips for preparing these duas.

The 8 Duas You Must Make This Ramadan

Every Ramadan for the past several years, I decide in advance which eight duas I will focus on. I pick two duas from each of the four categories listed below. Why 8? Most masjids pray 8 raka’ahs of taraweeh (at least), so I repeat only one dua consistently in each raka’ah of taraweeh (during sujood, etc.). That way, I always remember which raka’ah I am on, which helps me focus and stay alert during the late night taraweeh of these long summer days. It doesn’t need to be specifically 8 duas, though. It could be 17 — one for every raka’ah in the fardh salah — for example, but since we are talking about Ramadan (and it is easier to remember 8 than 17) let’s just stick to the 8.

There is something more important than the number, and that is the effort you put in. Imagine the dedication and consistency you are showing to Allah by making the same duas every night for 29 or 30 nights throughout each raka’ah of taraweeh! In addition, if you are indeed that consistent, you will surely catch Laylatul Qadr! You would be displaying a level of dedication that few do: showing to Allah that you are desperate for His help. How could He possibly turn you away empty-handed?

The more thought you put into this activity, the better. However, be careful not to over think it. It is possible to complete the activity in five minutes if you are pressed for time, so complete it as quickly as you can.

Note that this list of dua does not necessarily need to match the goals we discussed in the previous articles [Part 2 | Part 3], as they are goals for Ramadan. The dua list you are creating now is for your life in general.

While there is no guarantee your dua will come true, you must pray as if it will. Your dua might avert a calamity, an illness or some other difficulty that was destined for you, so in that sense your dua would still be answered and accepted without necessarily coming true. We never truly know what is best for us, but Allah certainly does — and He always delivers [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 216].

The Four Categories

1. Deen: Since Ramadan is all about taqwa and improvement, pray and beg Allah to improve you. Pick two aspects of your deen that you would like to improve and pray earnestly that Allah helps you with them. Maybe you have not done hajj or umrah yet? Make dua that you can do so before next Ramadan! Does that sound ridiculous? It is not difficult for Allah ! Want to memorize the whole Qur’an? Or part of it? It is easy for Allah . Want to shed a bad habit? Or build a new one like praying in the masjid? This is your chance to ask Allah to your heart’s content!

2. Dunya: One of the first dua we come across during taraweeh is “rabbana aatina fil dunya hasanah” or “Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good…” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 201]. Allah teaches us to pray for the life of this world. That sounds good to me. As long as I am here, I want to get as much out of it as I can! So ask for Allah’s help from the bottom of your heart. Do you need help with marriage? Job? House? Car? Health? This is the time to ask Allah without limiting His ability .

3. Akhira: The next part of that dua is “wafee al akhirati hasanah” – ” … and in the Hereafter [that which is] good …” Since our ultimate destination is the next life, we ought to dedicate part of our prayers to having an enjoyable afterlife too! Note: putting the dua in this order does not mean one is more important than the other, but you knew that. I personally like to pray for some specific aspect of Paradise and for protection from Hellfire. Do you want to sit with the Prophet in Paradise? Or maybe see and speak to your Creator ? Is there an aspect of Hellfire that you find particularly terrifying? Seek Allah’s protection from it.

4. Others: Ramadan is not a time to be selfish. This is why Allah requires us to give zakat al-fitr and helps us unite our community during taraweeh and Eid. So when you are planning your dua for Ramadan, it is critical you remember others. There are so many causes, so many people going through difficulty: Make a conscious effort to keep their plight on your mind. Think of your family and friends, the community and our ummah at large. By praying for them, we will also get the added blessings of having the angels say ‘ameen’ to those duas and praying for us as well. [Sunan Abi Dawud]

With so much to pray for, how do you possibly select only two duas per category? Again, try to make your list as simple and comprehensive as possible. And remember, you can always make more duas outside this list!

Action Steps

1. Write down your 8 duas on this worksheet along with your Ramadan goals and keep them in your pocket or wallet at all times.
2. If you are the digital type, put them in your note-taking app or create an image of both lists and put the image as the background for your smart phone and computer’s desktop as a consistent reminder.
3. Refer to this document/image every day, especially between taraweeh prayers.

Now, please share with us your thoughts on this action plan, and what dua you recommend for your brothers and sisters.

Read the other parts of this series: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Click here to read the original post

Securing Rewards in Marriage

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Sahebرحمة الله عليه

The sawaab (reward) for the sabr (patience) a woman exercises over her difficulties in managing the home
of her husband and fulfilling the rights of her husband and children sometimes is such, which makes her ‘reach’ Allah Ta’ala very quickly. This, however, is conditional to her obedience to Allah Ta’ala; fulfilling
His Rights, the Rights of His Rasul صلى الله عليه وسلم, as well as the Rights of His Creation.

Women who have a number of children, sometimes even a temperamental husband, together with many household chores and other responsibilities sometimes think that they cannot achieve the ranks of the
Auliya Allah[1] because they do not have time for ‘wazeefas’[2] and Nawaafil (optional prayers).

I tell them that they need not worry about too many wazeefas. The most important ‘wazeefa’ is abstinence from all sins. Added to this they should just correct their niyyah or intention in all that they
are doing as routine housework. Make the intention of pleasing Allah Ta’ala, then that same housework becomes Ibaadah. In this simple way, they will easily secure great rewards and the same spiritual stages,
if not higher.

Similarly, the sawaab for the sabr (patience) a man exercises over his wife’s shortcomings, emotional outbursts or mood swings is a medium by which he too acquires great rewards and reaches Allah Ta’ala very, very quickly.

Many Auliyaa Allah reached great spiritual heights, and were accepted for tremendous service to Deen
on the patience they adopted with their wives, and on the love, care, affection, tenderness and generosity they also extended to their wives.

Rasulullahصلى الله عليه وسلم set the perfect example for husbands. Despite the tremendous responsibilities
that he was entrusted with, he gave due attention and time to his wives and treated them with love and generosity. He was never harsh or insensitive towards any single wife.

Rasulullahصلى الله عليه وسلم also said: “The best amongst the Believers is he is whose character is 
the best. And the best among you is the one who is best towards his wife.”

[1] Auliya Allah : Friends of Allah Ta’ala
[2] Wazeefas : additional, optional supplications

Click here to read the original post

Tips to Effectively Discipline Your Children

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.


                                Photo by Tiffany Jill: iquitcountingstock[dot]deviantart[dot]com

This is the third and final piece of a 3-part series on having a productive household. In this section, we will discuss 7 more aspects of a productive household. These will relate to successful ways of disciplining your children more effectively without hitting or shouting.

1. Be Sensitive to Your Child’s Feelings

One of the best ways to avoid future behavioural problems is to be sensitive to your child’s feelings. Let your child know you understand how he feels, even when he has misbehaved. For example, If Abdullah comes home with a notice from school that admonishes him for speaking disrespectfully to his teacher, listen to his story and frustrations first. Let him know that you understand how he feels. Then later you can kindly follow up with instructions on how he should handle the situation in the future more appropriately. At this time, you can also proceed to dispense whatever penalties you deem suitable.

The most effective penalties are those that are implemented with respect and gentleness. Allah says in Qur’an: “So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter.” [Qur’an: Chapter 3, Verse 159]

According to hadith, the Prophet said: “Whoever was given his share of gentleness, then he has been given a share of good. And whoever has been prevented from his share of gentleness, then he has been prevented from his share of good.” [Tirmidhi]

2. Use Positive Reinforcement Often

Seek out situations and behaviours in which you can commend your child. For example, when you notice Abdullah getting along with his younger sibling or completing his homework without being told, let him know how pleased you are. Such as, “Abdullah, thank you for cleaning your room without my reminding you to. Your room looks really nice.”

You will often find that encouragement leads to more successful discipline than criticism. Encouragement makes people feel good about themselves, which leads to further effort. Criticism, on the other hand, leads to feelings of despondency, which results in apathy.

3. Give Your Child Control Periodically

We all have a need to be in control of our lives and to feel important. If you find your child becoming increasingly combative and argumentative, give them a say in what goes on in the house. Make sure you provide your children with the opportunity to make their own decisions every now and then. Also, allow them to be in charge of things around the house. For children who have a stronger desire to be in control than others, grant them the extra responsibility. Consider assigning daily chores to your children. This can give them a sense of belonging and purpose. Use an incentive chart to encourage them to complete their chores on occasions they are reticent.

If your child refuses to take a bath when asked to, try offering him or her options rather than commands. For example, “Abdullah, do you want to take your bath now or in ten minutes?” Occasionally, let your child decide what dinner will be for the night or where the family should go for their weekend outing.

4. Be Fair When Disciplining

Being unfair or excessively harsh when correcting your child can sometimes lead to your child retaliating in subtle ways, such as venting his anger on younger siblings or embarrassing you in front of friends and family with disruptive behaviour.

According to hadith, the Prophet said: “Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.” [Nasa’i]

Another hadith states that the Prophet said: “Act equally between your children; Act equally between your sons.” [Abu Dawud]

Everyone wants to feel respected and appreciated. Treating your children justly can alleviate a host of discipline problems and helps to make them feel valued. A person who feels valued has the self-respect to adhere to established rules.

If you find you have disciplined excessively or unjustly, let your child know you are sorry. Parents can apologise too. This can teach your child that mistakes in judgment can be corrected. It can also help your child to swallow his resentful feelings that lead to excessively unruly behaviour.

5. Be Conscious of Your Stress Level

If you have been under extra stress lately, realise that your frustrations with your child might be related more to how you are feeling rather than your child’s actual misbehaviour. When you are under added stress, you tend to have less patience. You might snap at your children for things you would not ordinarily scold them about. During these periods, acknowledge your heightened tension and then decrease your stress by retreating to your room for rest. You can also relax by involving yourself in special personal time such as reading an enjoyable book or listening to Qur’an.

6. Be Aware of Your Child’s Stress Level

A child that is stressed out is less likely to be cooperative and more inclined to moodiness. Both of these actions can lead to problem behaviours. If you notice that your child is experiencing added stress, focus on relieving the stress by determining what is upsetting him or her and doing what you can to help alleviate the problems. During these stressful periods, within reason, try to overlook negligible behaviours. Focus more on finding solutions rather than punishment.

Also, keep in mind that one of the best ways of alleviating your child’s stress level is by showing your love and affection.

According to hadith, the Prophet was very loving with his grandchildren. Aisha reported, “Some Bedouin people came to the Prophet and said: ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He said: ‘Yes’. He said: ‘But we, by Allah, never kiss (our children)’. The Prophet said: ‘What can I do if Allah has taken away mercy from you?’” [Ibn Majah]

7. Determine if Your Child is Seeking Attention

Some children will attempt to seek attention in any way they can, even if it is through improper behaviour. Try to spend more time with your child if you know you have been a bit slack lately. Simply listening more and giving your full attention when he or she is talking to you can be a start. But also remember to put aside special time during the day or week to spend with your child. Make it a habit of playing games every Friday or going on outings every Saturday. Arrange a schedule that will be suitable for all family members.

The Prophet was known to spend fun time with his family. According to hadith, Aisha said that while she was on a journey along with the Messenger of Allah , “I had a race with him (the Prophet ) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping.”  [Abu Dawud]

Establishing effective discipline techniques in your home can help parents achieve one of the most difficult yet most critical roles of a parent — that of the proper training of their children and in turn, a productive household.

Developing a productive household is an important aspect of establishing a healthy and productive society. Begin striving to improve your household habits in the manner mentioned in the three parts of this series. Be generous and kind, be patient with shortcomings, be committed to an intact family, and most important of all, remain faithful and dedicated to pleasing Your Lord. In sha Allah, you will see a more positive and fruitful home in the future.

If these tips have helped or if you have some more tips to share, let us know in the comments below!

 Read the other parts: (Part 1 | Part 2)

About the Author:

Grandma Jeddah is the mother of 11 children and 10 grandchildren. She has taught at an Islamic School in Los Angeles, California for over thirty years. She is the author of Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Discipline Your Muslim Child– And Keep Your Peace of Mind While at It. To order her e-book or subscribe to her free newsletter, visit her website at: www.grandmajeddah.com

Click here to read the original post

You're Not In Love!

You're Not In Love! - Powerful Islamic Reminder - by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan