Sibling Rivalry

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, Most Merciful.




by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah alayh)

Sibling Rivalry is a common scenario in almost every home. Arguments and fights are
everyday occurrences amongst brothers and sisters – to the extent that arguments often
lead to physical fighting.

This kind of response is very much against the disposition of a noble person, let alone a Muslim.

We need to learn to implement the noble character of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)
in our dealings with all – including siblings. It must not be that “we give as good as we get”;
rather we overlook, forgive and show to them, beautiful, dignified conduct.

If we have knowledge of Deen, then this is the setting which tests our practical expression
of that ilm (knowledge) and akhlaaq (character). We either give into nafs and Shaytaan and
show our brothers, sisters and parents that we are like cats and dogs fighting – and are closer
to being animals than humans, or we rise above the indiscretions of our family members,
adopting noble character and speech, and practicing on the ayat:

“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal.
Repel (the evil) with that which is better (to be 
patient, forgive, etc.), then verily, he between whom
and you there was enmity, (will become) as though 
he was a close friend.”
                                                                                  [Surah Fussilaat 41: 34] 
 
Rasulullah(sallallahu alaihi wasallam) had set a beautiful and perfect precedent in teaching
and moulding his two grandsons, Hasan and Husain(radiyallahu anhum).

Rasulullah(sallallahu alaihi wasallam)taught them to respect and love each other. He taught
them that the younger of them should serve the elder, due to the elder sibling deserving
respect. …Khidmat (serving) naturally creates muhabbat(love) and how perfect a
prescription this is for all brothers and sisters, in so far as creating a peaceful and happy
environment at home. This is why we find in the lives of these two grandsons, that
Hazrat Husain (radiyallahu anhu) used to respect Hazrat Hasan(radiyallahu anhu) and
even carry out his requests willingly.

Of course, in the light of the above, the older brother or sister should not think that he or
she can just demand, dictate and nag. If we are older, we have a responsibility to set an
example, worthy of our siblings to follow. There has to be courtesy, mercy, compassion
and love for the younger siblings.A balance needs to be created – where there is humility
on both sides.SayyidinaHasan(radiyallahu anhu) showed great love and compassion for
Sayyidina Husain (radiyallahu anhu).

If either one has to advise the other with regard to something – for example, food, clothing,
room, studies, salaah, etc. then it should be said once only and politely. Thereafter, leave it
to the parents or teachers to solve the problem.

If every sibling were to emulate the grandsons of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), then
there would be no bickering, quarreling and fighting. Home will be a haven and all parents
will be at peace – with no complaints against their children.

May Allah Ta’ala grant us all the understanding and the taufeeq of practicing.