بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah alayh)
A husband complained that he was always angry with his wife, and they continuously argued.
…There are so many such cases : If it is not the husband complaining of his wife, it is the
wife complaining of her husband.
In this case, having been informed of the weaknesses of his wife, which are common to
other women as well, I said: ‘I agree with you that there are weaknesses in women.
However, there are also weaknesses in men. …Moreover, your anger is for worldly
reasons. You are cursing your wife and inviting that same curse upon yourself...’
I then explained to him: ‘When you curse your wife on her defiance, non-compliance
or her indifference to your rights, then Allah Ta’ala’s azaab[1] descends upon her. When
that punishment reaches her, she will not be the only one who will suffer. As her husband,
you too suffer. If she is afflicted with illness or meets up with some accident, the burden of
expense falls upon you, as the husband. You will have to take care of her, and will also find
difficulty in that she will not be able to see to you and the children, and the maintenance of
the home, etc. And if she has to curse you, she too will find herself in a situation of trial
and difficulty...’
There are those women who have the bad habit of cursing their husbands and children –
and generally this is due to impatience or frustration. Instead of turning to Allah Ta’ala
and making Du’aa, they utter such words, which sometimes finds acceptance in the heavens,
but becomes a source of great regret.
It is due to this tendency of cursing and being ungrateful to spouses that
Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم directed women towards giving charity and
seeking forgiveness.
Thus, when Allah Ta’ala punishes the husband or the child, then the wife or mother is left
lamenting her plight.
It may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts her curse, and in a fit of anger the husband divorces the
wife. He loses his wife and children and she is left in dire circumstances as a divorcee; or it
may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts the curse, and as such his entire business collapses. Then
poverty becomes the lot of not just the husband, but also the wife who cursed, and the
children. …There are so many ways that curses are Divinely accepted.
Alhamdulillah, the husband explained the above to his wife and they both agreed that
arguing and cursing was not the solution.
Arguments are the cause of great satisfaction and joy to shaytaan, whose great effort is
to destroy marriages. Arguments, in fact, indicate to shaytaan’s presence in our homes.
It is the stepping stone to enmity between husband and wife, and can easily end up with
divorce, a broken home and many other problems.
Who does not want a happy marriage? Who does not want Sukoon (tranquility) in
marriage? ... However, to achieve this, some effort has to be made. We just have to train
ourselves to adopt Hilm (tolerance) and Sabr (patience) at times, and learn to curb the
tendency to argue and fight – which is otherwise common even for the most petty reasons.
If we can all keep before us the following Hadeeth and have Yaqeen and conviction on the
words of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, many arguments would not even surface and there
would be peace and tranquility: “I guarantee a house in the middle of Paradise to
the one who forsakes argument even when he is in the right.’
[1] Azaab : punishment
Click here to read original post
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah alayh)
A husband complained that he was always angry with his wife, and they continuously argued.
…There are so many such cases : If it is not the husband complaining of his wife, it is the
wife complaining of her husband.
In this case, having been informed of the weaknesses of his wife, which are common to
other women as well, I said: ‘I agree with you that there are weaknesses in women.
However, there are also weaknesses in men. …Moreover, your anger is for worldly
reasons. You are cursing your wife and inviting that same curse upon yourself...’
I then explained to him: ‘When you curse your wife on her defiance, non-compliance
or her indifference to your rights, then Allah Ta’ala’s azaab[1] descends upon her. When
that punishment reaches her, she will not be the only one who will suffer. As her husband,
you too suffer. If she is afflicted with illness or meets up with some accident, the burden of
expense falls upon you, as the husband. You will have to take care of her, and will also find
difficulty in that she will not be able to see to you and the children, and the maintenance of
the home, etc. And if she has to curse you, she too will find herself in a situation of trial
and difficulty...’
There are those women who have the bad habit of cursing their husbands and children –
and generally this is due to impatience or frustration. Instead of turning to Allah Ta’ala
and making Du’aa, they utter such words, which sometimes finds acceptance in the heavens,
but becomes a source of great regret.
It is due to this tendency of cursing and being ungrateful to spouses that
Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم directed women towards giving charity and
seeking forgiveness.
Thus, when Allah Ta’ala punishes the husband or the child, then the wife or mother is left
lamenting her plight.
It may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts her curse, and in a fit of anger the husband divorces the
wife. He loses his wife and children and she is left in dire circumstances as a divorcee; or it
may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts the curse, and as such his entire business collapses. Then
poverty becomes the lot of not just the husband, but also the wife who cursed, and the
children. …There are so many ways that curses are Divinely accepted.
Alhamdulillah, the husband explained the above to his wife and they both agreed that
arguing and cursing was not the solution.
Arguments are the cause of great satisfaction and joy to shaytaan, whose great effort is
to destroy marriages. Arguments, in fact, indicate to shaytaan’s presence in our homes.
It is the stepping stone to enmity between husband and wife, and can easily end up with
divorce, a broken home and many other problems.
Who does not want a happy marriage? Who does not want Sukoon (tranquility) in
marriage? ... However, to achieve this, some effort has to be made. We just have to train
ourselves to adopt Hilm (tolerance) and Sabr (patience) at times, and learn to curb the
tendency to argue and fight – which is otherwise common even for the most petty reasons.
If we can all keep before us the following Hadeeth and have Yaqeen and conviction on the
words of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, many arguments would not even surface and there
would be peace and tranquility: “I guarantee a house in the middle of Paradise to
the one who forsakes argument even when he is in the right.’
[1] Azaab : punishment
Click here to read original post
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